Co-Parenting Gone Wrong: What Not To Do

Co-parenting is essentially the way you parent with your ex after your divorce. It's supposed to be parenting in a parallel way with your ex so the kids get the same type of parenting in both households, much like your children did when you were married. You should be on the same page with practices such as bedtimes, schedules, discipline, and other areas of parenting. There are things you may be doing that could be derailing co-parenting with your ex and your relationship with your children. Read on for a few of these things so you know what not to do.

1. Attempting To Control Or Using Constant Communication

Communication is one thing, but if you are trying to control what happens in the other household with your children, it's going to go sour at some point. Your ex may put up with this for awhile, but once another significant other comes into the mix this isn't going to last too long afterwards. You want to be on the same page with your ex, but there are going to be some things that are going to be out of your control. If your ex takes the kids to a movie you wanted to see, you don't have control over this. If your ex misses a birthday party you had scheduled, this is going to happen sometimes. Some things are going to be out of your control.

2. Manipulating Your Children

If you're using your kids as a way to get back at your ex, this is a big no-no. You're going to end up hurting your children more than you will your ex. Never use your children as your confidant. Don't discuss events that occurred in your divorce or child support hearings with your child or discuss anything that may have occurred while you were married that portrays your ex in a negative light. These are not discussions for your children.

3. Adjusting Schedules To Decrease The Other's Parenting Time

This is another manipulation method some may use as a way to keep your children away from your ex. Don't constantly schedule things when your child is supposed to be with the other parent. If this is the case, your child can go with your ex to these scheduled activities. Don't take away from your ex's parenting time. Your ex should have their time with your child. It isn't up to you to take this time away, and it will hurt your child in the end.

Co-parenting the right way will help ensure your child gets through these new life changes unscathed. Be there for your child and do what is right for your child. Talk to your child custody attorney about other helpful co-parenting tips.